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User blog:Bella's Sword/Clementine V.S The world of horror movie cliche
(Tone for this story: Lighthearted with some humor, also may be cringy for some audiences.) Setting of the story: Clementine was challenged to live in a haunted house for about a month while ensuring her and her companion’s survival. She accepted. Scenario one Normal: A guy was sitting on the couch, munching away on some cheesing flavored popcorn and drinking beer while watching a scary movie at 3:00. He looks very scared. Suddenly, a creepy ghost girl crawls out of the T.V. All the lights suddenly turns off in the house. Cue the scary music. The guy screams, then runs away from the room. The girl gets out and chases after him. Clementine : Clementine was sitting on the couch, munching away on some soul flavored popcorn and drinking tea while watching a scary movie at 3:00. She seems oddly cheerful and is laughing at a lot of the scenes. Suddenly, a creepy ghost girl crawls out of the T.V. All the lights suddenly turns off in the house. Cue the scary music. Clementine stands up, and walks until she is directly in front of the ghost girl, who is only halfway out of the T.V. The then kicks the girl square in the face and shoves her back in the T.V. “No. Stay in there or else I rip your arm off and send you back to the afterworld by beating you with said arm to death again.” The ghost, being smart, decided to get the fuck out of the T.V of this apartment and never look back ever again. *beep* Scenario 2 Normal : A guy finds a smiling creepy doll holding a small knife on their doorstep. The knife glints in the moonlight of the night sky. He then screams and tries to run away, but got stabbed by the creepy doll instead. Clementine : Clementine finds a creepy doll holding a small knife on her doorstep. The knife glints in the moonlight of the night sky. She then proceeds to pull a chainsaw out of her pocket space and start the engine. She stares at the doll with wide eyes and a slasher smile. The doll screams and tries to run away, but was shredded to pieces with the chainsaw. “No demonic creature is entering my house on my watch.” *beep* Scenario 3 Normal: A guy sneaks up to the killer and stabs him while he’s not looking to save his companion. “Do you think he killer’s dead?” “Let’s go check” After they got near the killer, he suddenly gets back up and cut both of their heads off with an axe. Clementine: Clementine sneaks up to the killer and stabs him while he’s not looking to save her current companion. “Do you think he’s dead?” “…wait.” She pulls out and AK-47 and shoots the killer 30 times. She then pulls out an RPG and shoots at the corpse 5 times. For good measure, she lit a match and burned what’s left of the body. “Now we can check.” The companion just stared at Clementine with a shocked expression on their face. “Where did you even get that?” *beep* Scenario 4 Normal: A guy’s friend asks him for tips on buying a house. That guy shrugs, and they continued onto other topics. The friend bought a haunted house, and died a few weeks later. Clementine: Clementine’s companion asks for tips on buying a house. Knowing that because this is a horror movie world, she started to give her companion a very long speech on buying and moving into new houses. “If there are signs for you to get the fuck out of the house, get the fuck out. For example, if you walk into a room and there is only one light source hanging from the ceiling, you should probably get the fuck out. If you walk into a room and any of the lights are flickering, then you should probably get the fuck out. If you get a pretty new house with a great deal and all the other neighbors are scared of you, then get the fuck out. If you see someone in the reflection of a window or a mirror, get the fuck out. If you hear that the previous house owner is murdered in your house, get the fuck out. If you ever see anyone in your house that’s not supposed to be there, gtfo. If you have a kid who knows how to astral project, gtfo. If you have no cell phone services, if it’s always storming, if you see a sign that says beware, if you see a sign that says keep out, and if there is literally a sign that says get the fuck out, then get it on the way out, because I would like to keep that sign. Alright?” “Uhhh…ok?” The companion looked really weird out, but agreed to do all of the above. Luckily, that companion died at the ripe old age of 102 years old due to old age, much longer than everyone around them that keeps on getting murdered by scary clowns, immortal serial killers, and creepy dolls because they took her advice to heart. Their last words to their descendants was to also follow all of these rules, so that particular family lasted longer than any other families in the history of the universe of horror stories. Yay for happy endings. *beep* Scenario 5 Normal： A guy walks into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. He was bored, so he decided to play rock paper scissors with his reflection despite the fact that it was pointless. Rock, paper, scissors… The guy was holding up a paper while his reflection was holding a scissor, smiling at him. The guy’s face was one of pure shock. Then. the guy turned as white as a sheet, and ran away from the bathroom. Clementine: Clementine walks into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. She was bored, so she decided to play rock paper scissors with her reflection despite the fact that it was pointless. Rock, paper, scissors… Clementine was holding up a paper while her reflection was holding a scissor, smiling at her. She furrowed her eyebrows. “This one doesn’t count! I demand a rematch!” *beep* Scenario 6 Normal: A guy and his companions were going on a trip. A random guy appears, then says that they shouldn’t go because a tsunami is going to hit the island. They ignored his warning. A few days later, they all died. Clementine: Clementine and her companions were going on a trip. A random guy appears, then says that they shouldn’t go because a tsunami is going to hit the island. Clementine convinced her group to go to somewhere else for vacation instead. Her companions agreed. They had an enjoyable vacation. *beep* Scenario 7 Normal: A guy and his companions are trapped in a hotel. They turned an alleyway, and found corpses lined in a straight line all the way down the hallway. A ghost lady pushing a trolley then walks into the hallway. They scream and run away. Clementine: Clementine and her companions are trapped in a hotel. They turned an alleyway, and found corpses lined in a straight line all the way down the hallway. “Kudos to whoever arranged these corpses so neatly! It’s really nice, especially since I am feeling like some what of a neat-freak at the moment!” Clementine exclaimed. Everyone else looked at her as if she was crazy. She probably was. A ghost lady pushing a trolley then walked into the hallway. While everyone else were trying to run away, Clementine approached the lady. “Do you sell any food?” The lady nodded and pointed at a fried…hand? “Fried baby hands? Perfect! I would like to take two!” The trolley lady nodded, then asked for payment. Normally, this will force the customer to sell their soul, but… “Here is three damned soul as your payment and an extra for a tip! Thanks for the food!” Clementine finished swallowing the food and ran down to join her scared friends while the trolley lady just stared at the damned souls that is currently placed in a jar and on her trolley at the moment. She has a shocked expression on her face and her jaw unhinged, falling onto the floor. *beep* This is low quality, but the actual experience was pretty fun. I didn't write it, your previous author did. Ah, right.